National Ballet Day

Happy National Ballet Day!

National Ballet DayHello!

I know that I must have told my ballet failure story about a million times by now, but since I lack any imaginable skill as a ballerina, this is kind of all that I have to offer today! As a child, my mom signed me up for ballet lessons and I distinctly remember going to Payless Shoes with her to pick out my first pair of overpriced, soft pink ballet flats. That might have actually been my first attempt at entering the sports world. Spoiler alert: all other attempts ended in a similar downward spiral. I thought that I was doing decently well in the pre-K ballet class, but I was exceptionally bored. I didn’t want to learn the foot positions or how to count out the number of steps to walk across the room and hand off a flower with a curtsy. Instead, I did things my own way and added plenty of twirls, twists, jumps, and gestures to infuse my own style. I didn’t even make it to our first performance before my membership in the class was politely declined and I was asked not to come back. I think that even worse than being a bad dancer is not realizing the unfortunate truth. Even to this day, I have to remind myself that the beautiful shapes and smooth body lines that I imagine I am creating are not transferring successfully into the real world. Sometimes I still think that I have the super skinny, bony body from my childhood and also have to suffer shocking shift of reality when I pass a mirror. I want to be ballerina or gymnast so badly. I want to have grace, stamina, balance, and elegance in my movements! I suppose I have pretty decent balance, but one basic skill a dancer does not make. Break out your ballet shoes, or scarring memories, and celebrate happy holidays!


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National Dance Day

Happy National Dance Day!

National Dance DayHello!

I’m not a dancer – shocker. My limbs flail more than my body floats and any opportunity that I have to flip my hair around in ecstatic head banging style is bound to be taken. When I’m dancing in public on the rare, if not extinct, occasions, I tone things down and do the awkward side step bobble with closed fist bopping motions along with an interested head nod in time. It wouldn’t be fair to society to unleash the fury of my dance moves without warning or an advised escape route. No, instead, I lock myself up in a little dance box and resign to modest bobbing and bopping. Today, I was granted a much needed stay at home day so I’m planning on just spending the afternoon expelling all of my stress energy and anxiety through a hard core dance session. It’s a no school day at my teaching site, the observation that I had lined up fell through, and I was advised that it wasn’t worth coming to the backup stack of meetings that are on the calendar. That’s fine with me! Trust me, I am more than happy to blast my Spotify discover playlist and rock out to an energetic blend of stomp and holler indie music paired with a fruitless photo session that only results in blurry, awkward duds. Dance your cares away. Happy holidays!


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National Awkward Moments Day

Happy National Awkward Moments Day!

National Awkward Moments DayHello!

My life is filled with so many awkward moments, that I don’t even know where to start! This morning, I was standing in a pee-filled elevator at 7 AM with a stranger. That’s a good place to begin, right? Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for a pet, or person(?), to have an accident and for it to sit, pooled in the corner over night before the building custodial staff gets to it. It wasn’t smelly enough for me to take the stairs all the way down to the sub-basement, so I just took a deep breath before stepping in and scooted myself as close as I could to the opposite wall. The elevator stopped a few floors down and an equally smelly middle aged guy stepped in. He walked with super heavy steps like his combat boots had bricks in them and stepped brazenly into the elevator, planting himself to stand directly in the puddle of pee. With no self control, I raised my eyebrows and my eyes got all big as I stared into the semi-reflective metal walls of the elevator. I could see him turn to look at me out of the corner of my eye. Then, he said, ‘Did you do this?,’ pointing to the puddle that he was standing in. The elevator opened to let another person on at the 2nd floor and I whisked out the door right past them as they came in, headed straight for the stairs. No problem, sir – I’ll just walk the rest of the way down. Awkward, right? Happy holidays!


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World Play Your Ukulele Day

Happy World Play Your Ukulele Day!

World Play Your Ukulele DayHello!

I love the blog project and it’s so inspiring to get a daily dose of inspiration to do, eat, or celebrate something exciting. However, I really don’t love doing it in public! It’s bad enough when we go out to a restaurant and I am posing like a dork with my plate, taking several up close focus shots, trying to get the perfect food angle. Even worse are days like this! Just, so cringy. We walked into this little music shop and, of course, there was no one in the store except the single worker who was too interested in providing top notch customer service. I said that I was looking for a ukulele and he happily offered that I take them off the wall and try them out myself or he would demo for me. Knowing full well that I had no intention of dropping $50 on a low bid ukulele, I gingerly assured him that we would be fine and pretended to strum the few chords that I kind of know. He kept glancing our way while we turned the strum session into a low key photo shoot and the pretend show expanded to spinning the ukulele around in my hands and giving it a good look over. I set it back in the hanging hook and took the walk of shame up the counter with a single tube of cork grease in my hands. Technically, it’s not my ukulele and I didn’t actually do much playing, but there was enough social embarrassment to constitute successful celebration. Happy holidays!


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national gymnastics day

Happy National Gymnastics Day!

national gymnastics day Hello!

I have a secret obsession with gymnastics and have always been insanely interested in the sport. One of my best friends in middle school was in gymnastics and I was so jealous of her strength and flexibility. I mean, she would walk up the stairs on her hands while I just crawled up on all fours and was winded by the top! At lunch break, we went straight to the twirling bars where she taught us how to do a kip, which is one of the basic uneven bar skills. After several weeks of 5-minute mini-lessons on the playground with strength training and practice, both of my other non-gymnast friends could do it but I was left with sore hip bones and a bruised ego. When walking through parking lots, we would even practice jumps and twirls on the concrete blocks as if they were balance beams. I went to cheer her on at one of her gymnastics meets and was in awe of it all. I didn’t even mind the sweaty gym mat smell or repetition of the same floor routine music for 15 girls in a row. All I wanted was to get out there and bounce around. Of course, I’ve never attended a gymnastics session in my life and except for the self-taugh round-off that I mastered on our lawn in early elementary school, the gymnastics obsession has always been an unexplored fantasy. I’ll continue to make a fool of myself on National Gymnastics Day every year until I finally have a pocket full of cash and connect with a private gymnastics coach to give it a go. I’ve never fancied myself a sport girl and it would surely be challenging, but I think that it might be insanely fun and fulfilling. Happy holidays!


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national toilet paper day

Happy National Toilet Paper Day!

national toilet paper dayHello!

I don’t usually get stumped when it comes to writing these daily blogs but I’ve been staring at the blinking line of doom, as a writer recently called it, for quite a while now. It’s usually the seemingly simple ones that trip me up. I mean, there’s always a story to be told when you’re yelling fudge at the cobras in North Americataking your houseplant for a walk, or putting your barbie in a blender. But toilet paper… I mean. Yeah, there’s a lot of things to say about that, but I’m pulling on the reigns hard to keep the blog from going there. We’ll just skirt the elephant in the room and turn it into a touch of silliness. Isn’t that always the best way to get out of awkward situations? That, or just running away – which I’m not sure that I can get away with doing. My general rule of blog-writing thumb is to write until I get to the bottom edge of my photo line as kind of a minimum content marker so I still have a few more lines to go. Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, away from toilet humor and laugh with me at my silly attempt to make toilet paper fashionable and funny in the photos. Of course, it’s also National Dog Day but I’m miles away from my lovely little Jack Russell so we’re stuck building toilet paper men. Life is obviously not fair. That’s it, I’ve met the mark and officially given toilet paper that time and attention that it deserves, which isn’t all that much. Happy holidays!


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national talk in an elevator day

Happy National Talk in an Elevator Day!

national talk in an elevator dayHello!

On any other day, I will be exuding every bit of nonverbal sass and stay-away-from-me threats that I can muster in an elevator with strangers. It really shouldn’t bother me much. I mean, I know why people talk in elevators – they want to be friendly, pass the time, etc. – but I don’t know why they have to talk to me. Can’t we just push our respective floor buttons and suffer for in silence for approximately 20 seconds before it’s my turn to get off? In general, I encounter three types of elevator talkers: 1) ‘how are you stranger?’ 2) ‘here’s an obvious question,’ and 3) ‘don’t respond, or do – it’s up to you.’ The first type are the people who didn’t care a bit about your presence while you waited in the elevator lobby but are suddenly quite interested in how your day is going, where you live, what your hobbies are, if you’re married, if you’re a student, and who you voted for as soon as the doors close and trap you inside. The next type makes up silly questions with only a half millisecond of thought simply for the sake of conversation. They’re the ones who will ask you how the weather is outside although you watched them walk into the building right after you. Finally, and possibly most cringe-ly, I encounter the type of elevator talkers who are super ambiguous about who they’re talking to and what response they expect to receive. They’re the ones who say a question that doesn’t really sound like a question and is on the cusp of being quiet enough to be considered a mumble to themselves. You can either risk looking up to meet their gaze with a questioning eyebrow and face them head on with an answer, which they may or not have been expecting, or you can pretend like you didn’t hear them and pray that there are no stops before your floor. I generally aim for the second of those two escape routes. With the introduction of the snazzy new microphone built-in headphones, this problem has increased exponentially. So sure, today you can talk to me in an elevator for celebration’s sake but, please, just don’t. Happy holidays!


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